College Friends

Just the other day, I was thinking back to college. Heck, back to high school. I wonder where most of my friends went...

It's definitely not a secret, that I'm ridiculously shy! And even though I tried, there are very few people from my past, that I still talk to. Why? Not even I'm sure of this. Maybe life just gets busy. Maybe my family is so big, that I sometimes puts friend on the back burner. Maybe, we just weren't meant to be friends.

I look back to high school. And the friends I had. I had "cheerleader friends." Almost 100% of them, would not have been my friend outside of our sport. We had a common goal. We talked. But it was nothing ever too deep. I regret that I let a few of those girls, just disappear. Once in a great while, I chat with someone on Facebook. In the first few years that I was out of high school, I unfortunately would stay quiet, when I'd see some of these friends. I regret that!

My closer friends, I tried to stay in touch with them. Most of us went to different universities. Not that it should matter, but just that one detail, had us going in different directions. Others of us, went to the same university, but found different interests. I would say, for the most part, I was on a very different path. I bought a house when I was 18 years old. And was solely supporting myself. Tough stuff.

But college friends. I think of them the most. I don't know why. Maybe because they shaped a lot of my life. We were on the same path. Starting out on our careers. Learning about the world. We spent countless hours studying together. And eventually, beginning our careers together.

M always comes to mind. We met on my first day of college. The only 2 students in the music program, that morning, that weren't in band. We sat and talked. Which became our "routine" for the next year. Eventually, we'd both move on from music. But we'd continue our friendship. Having lunch together, a few times a week. After graduation, boyfriends, and moves...we're still friends. Calling and texting, between field trips and surgeries. It's funny how these things work out.

I think of friends like Mer, Mac, Jeni, Matt, and Jorge. We went through a lot. And I mean A LOT together! But as we'd overcome our obstacles, and pass our classes, we started to lose touch. I had close friends from dietetics and medicine, that I've remained friends with. But these 5 always come to mind. Long hours in class, crazy labs, and even longer hours cramming for exams. I wonder what happened to everyone...

I think of my Target family. 99.9% of us were in college at the time. Struggling with work, going to class, and just flat out staying awake. It was tough! But we made it through all that. I think of Miss "I'm going to sing my worries away." And little Miss Sassy Pants. Our manager was pretty awesome too! From time to time, I'll run into someone on Facebook. Mostly Mr. "I'm going to save the world Fernando." :)

Friendships don't always sail into the sunset, 2 friends laughing away, life going great. Big rifts happen. To even the closest of friends. Like Miss "Wanna be a Chicana, mariachi playing, John Denver loving mujer." We were close. Talking daily. Laughing our cares away. Probably annoying everyone in our path! And then 1 day, 1 disagreement, destroyed our friendship. Maybe I was too quick to react. Or she was too quick to judge. Or we really were not meant to be friends. I guess we'll never really know...

I had a ton of "friends" in music. I don't know if you'd call us friends. We would meet in rehearsal. Some of us, like P and I, would occasionally meet for dinner. Or shopping. Maybe a 2 hour convo on the phone. There was that weird girl, that I just can't remember her name. Just that she played the trumpet, scared me half to death, and stalked me way too long! All because I told her Hi one day...

And that last scary situation, is probably why I kept most people at arm's length. I regret that a lot these days. I think of all the things I could have done, while I was in college. The mariachi groups I could have played in. The people I could have become friends with. But that girl, she scared me to death! And to be honest, I thought they'd all turn into scary stalkers. That somehow, figured out where I lived. That had me, shaking in my boots!

There were nice guys in symphony and mariachi. Yes, I said guys. Because at the end of the day, most of them were guys. They were nice. For the most part. There was A and G that pissed me off one day. And that was it. This fiery Chicana went all Burque on their butts. Walked out of the Mariachi class, and never looked back.

Out of all the people I ever encountered in college, it was the mariachi players, that I wished I had become closer to. They were nice people. Always inviting me to jam, or even join their groups. And there was me...scared to death. Afraid to talk. I do believe that my teacher G, tried some crazy stuff, to get me to connect with these talented musicians. Some days, I swear he was trying to play matchmaker. Maybe it was just bad timing, but before you knew it, I was elbow deep in petri dishes. :)

I often wonder, especially now that I'm home, how things could have worked out differently. I wonder if those few, returned home. To the northern part of our state. I'm pretty sure, that's were P told me, they were from. I wonder if they still play music. If they have a group. If they'd even want a musician like me, to be in their group. Maybe I'm just lonely, and need some musician friends. Maybe I just yearn for those nights filled with music. Maybe, I just need to be a better friend in the future...

 ♥Besitos

Tantita Pena

Funny how I seen him today. And all I could think about was his lips. And 1:45 of this video. Doesn't help that he has grown out his hair, is a musician, and has a voice to die for! I wanted to talk to him. But oh ya, I got soaked by the kind firemen of "The City Different."

Oh ya, and that fireman, why do I always see him when I come here? It's just strange. Yes, he asked me out when I was younger. But I was 16 and he was 21. A little illegal in our state. I could have imagined what my Dad would have done.

But back to the man...he looked amazing. I wanted to talk to him. Then the light bulb went off in my head. Um, hello! He plays the guitar. I'm sure he would enjoy this gig. And the money. Too bad my white shirt was drenched. And you could see through it! My bra was clearly visible. And I was running to my car. He would be perfect for this gig. Then maybe just maybe, I'd finally get to talk to him...

But it didn't happen. When I got to my car, Zo called me. And I told him about the entire situation. He told me that I should have just went to talk to him. Maybe he would have just taken the job. hahaha Zo is a funny one! If it had been Zo, he would have taken the job. :P

But seriously, I know at one time I had a phone number for him. Other than that one, to the apartment, where he no longer lives. Oh ya. I could make a quick call to an old teacher. I know he has the number. But then...what do I say?

Now I'm at my parent's house. Calling every musician I know. But he's on my mind. And this video. Why do I make life so complicated for myself? ♥Besitos

Opportunity Missed

You can tell me I'm crazy. I'm probably going to agree with you anyway. This morning, I was exhausted. And I really didn't want to get out of bed. Or in this case, off the couch. I'm here at my parents' house visiting. And they insist on getting up early. And going out to eat. I'm not a big fan of the VI. So they tempted me with Barela's.

I got up. Went to take a shower. And didn't really care what I wore. Frankly, I just pulled whatever out of my bag. I rain a comb through my wet hair and piled it on top of my head with a clip. No makeup. Let's just say, I'm not a morning person. And this morning, I was not expecting to see a soul that I knew...

And off we went. We dropped my Dad off in the front. My Mom and I parked the car. Once inside, we talked to a cousin of mine and some friends. And sat down. We ordered our breakfast, and began planning our day.

It was a relatively uneventful meal. We joked with some people that sat next to us. We watched people. And I was playing with a little girl sitting at the next table over. Then I saw him...

Yes, the man that I thought walked on water. I met him when I was a freshman in college. Everything about him, was wonderful. His voice, his playing abilities, his looks...everything! But I was/am shy. And I could barely mutter hi to him then. He always made me nervous. I could barely tune my violin in front of him. Let's not even talk about when he would start to sing Volver. But there he was. In the flesh. I haven't seen him in 5 years?

He walked right behind my parents as he left. In fact, he stood there for a minute or 2. He got stuck behind a waitress, that was delivering food to the next table. I swear, my heart was in my throat. I wanted to be nice. You know. And say hi. But how could I? Oh, and my parents were there. They'd want this whole long story. And I can barely talk to this man. So I tried to be invisible. Which I guess worked. Because he didn't see me.

So I let it go. I didn't say a thing. My entire upper body was red. My parents had no clue. They were talking to our cousin. And I felt stupid for blushing. And for not talking to this man.

He hasn't changed much. He grew his hair out. The last time I had seen him, he had shaved it all off. But he still had that wonderful smile...and that contagious laugh. One day, I hope I can at least talk to him. Without getting tongue tied and all flustered. What is wrong with me? I'm not always like this... ♥Besitos