College Friends

Just the other day, I was thinking back to college. Heck, back to high school. I wonder where most of my friends went...

It's definitely not a secret, that I'm ridiculously shy! And even though I tried, there are very few people from my past, that I still talk to. Why? Not even I'm sure of this. Maybe life just gets busy. Maybe my family is so big, that I sometimes puts friend on the back burner. Maybe, we just weren't meant to be friends.

I look back to high school. And the friends I had. I had "cheerleader friends." Almost 100% of them, would not have been my friend outside of our sport. We had a common goal. We talked. But it was nothing ever too deep. I regret that I let a few of those girls, just disappear. Once in a great while, I chat with someone on Facebook. In the first few years that I was out of high school, I unfortunately would stay quiet, when I'd see some of these friends. I regret that!

My closer friends, I tried to stay in touch with them. Most of us went to different universities. Not that it should matter, but just that one detail, had us going in different directions. Others of us, went to the same university, but found different interests. I would say, for the most part, I was on a very different path. I bought a house when I was 18 years old. And was solely supporting myself. Tough stuff.

But college friends. I think of them the most. I don't know why. Maybe because they shaped a lot of my life. We were on the same path. Starting out on our careers. Learning about the world. We spent countless hours studying together. And eventually, beginning our careers together.

M always comes to mind. We met on my first day of college. The only 2 students in the music program, that morning, that weren't in band. We sat and talked. Which became our "routine" for the next year. Eventually, we'd both move on from music. But we'd continue our friendship. Having lunch together, a few times a week. After graduation, boyfriends, and moves...we're still friends. Calling and texting, between field trips and surgeries. It's funny how these things work out.

I think of friends like Mer, Mac, Jeni, Matt, and Jorge. We went through a lot. And I mean A LOT together! But as we'd overcome our obstacles, and pass our classes, we started to lose touch. I had close friends from dietetics and medicine, that I've remained friends with. But these 5 always come to mind. Long hours in class, crazy labs, and even longer hours cramming for exams. I wonder what happened to everyone...

I think of my Target family. 99.9% of us were in college at the time. Struggling with work, going to class, and just flat out staying awake. It was tough! But we made it through all that. I think of Miss "I'm going to sing my worries away." And little Miss Sassy Pants. Our manager was pretty awesome too! From time to time, I'll run into someone on Facebook. Mostly Mr. "I'm going to save the world Fernando." :)

Friendships don't always sail into the sunset, 2 friends laughing away, life going great. Big rifts happen. To even the closest of friends. Like Miss "Wanna be a Chicana, mariachi playing, John Denver loving mujer." We were close. Talking daily. Laughing our cares away. Probably annoying everyone in our path! And then 1 day, 1 disagreement, destroyed our friendship. Maybe I was too quick to react. Or she was too quick to judge. Or we really were not meant to be friends. I guess we'll never really know...

I had a ton of "friends" in music. I don't know if you'd call us friends. We would meet in rehearsal. Some of us, like P and I, would occasionally meet for dinner. Or shopping. Maybe a 2 hour convo on the phone. There was that weird girl, that I just can't remember her name. Just that she played the trumpet, scared me half to death, and stalked me way too long! All because I told her Hi one day...

And that last scary situation, is probably why I kept most people at arm's length. I regret that a lot these days. I think of all the things I could have done, while I was in college. The mariachi groups I could have played in. The people I could have become friends with. But that girl, she scared me to death! And to be honest, I thought they'd all turn into scary stalkers. That somehow, figured out where I lived. That had me, shaking in my boots!

There were nice guys in symphony and mariachi. Yes, I said guys. Because at the end of the day, most of them were guys. They were nice. For the most part. There was A and G that pissed me off one day. And that was it. This fiery Chicana went all Burque on their butts. Walked out of the Mariachi class, and never looked back.

Out of all the people I ever encountered in college, it was the mariachi players, that I wished I had become closer to. They were nice people. Always inviting me to jam, or even join their groups. And there was me...scared to death. Afraid to talk. I do believe that my teacher G, tried some crazy stuff, to get me to connect with these talented musicians. Some days, I swear he was trying to play matchmaker. Maybe it was just bad timing, but before you knew it, I was elbow deep in petri dishes. :)

I often wonder, especially now that I'm home, how things could have worked out differently. I wonder if those few, returned home. To the northern part of our state. I'm pretty sure, that's were P told me, they were from. I wonder if they still play music. If they have a group. If they'd even want a musician like me, to be in their group. Maybe I'm just lonely, and need some musician friends. Maybe I just yearn for those nights filled with music. Maybe, I just need to be a better friend in the future...

 ♥Besitos